Monday afternoon, Jan.
23 . . .
The Republican
presidential contest isn't going so well. I've been in the basement,
digging through the boxes on the table that holds important stuff to
protect it from the occasional flooding. I expect I can find 30
years of tax returns to release as I announce my own candidacy for
the White House.
With my lifetime
average pay of less than $35,000 a year, I won't be accused of being
one of the 1 percent of evil rich people who pay 18.8 percent of
federal income taxes. Like Warren Buffett and others, I've also paid
a low rate on my capital gains, but the only time I recall having
any such thing was when I cashed in some savings bonds from my
parents for my son.
So I suppose I'll be
accused by my opponents and/or the mainstream national media of not
having been an investor in the national economy and creating jobs,
but instead timidly putting my savings into savings accounts and CDs
at my local banks.
I admit it, if it were
up to people like me and our risk-averse retirement plans, there
probably wouldn't be a national economy at all. I've been a salaried
employee all my working life, from assembly line in a factory to
executive director of Citizens for Limited Taxation; I've never
created any jobs. In fact, at CLT, we went from four to three
employees in 2010 when I had to lay off the secretary. This cruel
act, while it helped the organization survive hard times, will
certainly haunt me during the campaign.
On the other hand, I
didn't get taxpayer bailouts that violate the whole point of
risk-taking capitalism, and wouldn't vote for them.
I probably should note
my public sector experience as a lifeguard at Sandy Beach in
Danvers. Might make a good campaign poster: Me at age 30 in a red,
white and blue swimsuit, doing CPR on the Resusci Anne doll with the
words, "Barbara will save America."
I'm wondering now if
I'll be asked about my tax returns before I was a single filer; must
see if my two ex-husbands kept our joint filings. I have to call
them anyhow to get endorsements. They've both nagged me in the past
to run for office, so I know they'll be supportive, although they'll
probably say I should have done it before I got too old to campaign
without an afternoon nap.
Of course, they could
tell the national mainstream media a few stories about me as a
spouse, things that could make for an interesting interview on ABC.
But I'm not worried because a.) I carefully chose my potential
ex-husbands for lasting friendship; and b.) I can get away with two
divorces because I'm not running on "family values" and traditional
marriage, as if I'm some kind of paragon on these issues.
My longtime partner,
Chip Ford, is also supportive, though he does believe that as
libertarians, neither Ron Paul nor I have a chance to become
president.
Well, that's no reason
not to run! Nor do I accept that I need enough of an organization to
actually get on the ballot in all the primary states. Nor do I need
to have raised a lot more money than what friends have offered for
purchasing bumper stickers stating: "Vote for Barbara or else you
are an anti-Croatian/Irish/German bigot and misogynist."
No, all I need is to
debate well, and I've had lots of experience debating Massachusetts
ballot questions. I like our state media, but I can attack the
national media types, like Andrea Mitchell, who says that Mitt
Romney will have a difficult time winning Florida Hispanics because
of his "really hard line on immigration." Look, lady, he has said
many times that he loves "legal immigration." What part of "legal"
don't you understand?
Exit polls showed that
some South Carolina voters were uncomfortable with Romney being a
Mormon; they preferred Gingrich, who eventually married his "devout
Catholic" mistress after she helped cause his second divorce.
Fortunately, I can run
as someone who doesn't belong to any organized religion so I can
relate equally to all of them. No one will hold any one religion
against me!
It's nice the way
Mormons tithe to their church, though. My tax returns will show that
my charitable giving emphasizes animal shelters, veterans' services
and certain diseases.
Now, as for issues, I
agree with the Republican candidates on many important things, like
repealing Dodd-Frank and replacing ObamaCare.
Wait! I just realized I
must switch from independent to Republican! Certainly don't want a
third party to split the anti-Obama vote and re-elect him.
Time out while I think
about this, and watch Deval Patrick's state of the state address,
then "House" (will I be too busy campaigning to watch my favorite
shows?) and finally the latest Republican debate on NBC.
Now it's 11 p.m. Good
debate. The moderator let Mitt and Newt go at it on their
backgrounds and Ron and Rick argue about Cuba policy and U.S. policy
in Iran. I like the way Ron Paul never forgets that we can't spend
money we don't have.
The Republican
candidates were looking presidential tonight. I think I'll suspend
my campaign for a while. Thank you for your support.