Gov.
Deval Patrick is "asking" me to "contribute." He wants me to pay 19
cents more for a gallon of gas.
Thank
you for "asking," governor. But I'd prefer not to "contribute" at
this time.
I
thought that settled it, but the governor persists, assuring me that
the tax increase will cost me only $8, the price of one large coffee
a week.
There
are people who pay $8 for a cup of coffee? I buy my coffee at
Marshalls. It's usually $4.99 for a 12-ounce bag of something
hazelnut or caramel that lasts over a month, since I make myself one
cup a day at home. Even with the scoop of ice cream, it doesn't cost
$8 a week.
Of
course, the gas tax increase won't cost me $8 a week either, since
my Honda CRV rarely travels while I work at home. I presently fill
up for $15 once a month.
So I'm
not worried about the money as much as I am annoyed by the use of
the word "asking" when he means "ordering" and the "just a cup of
coffee or pizza a week or coke a day or jellybean an hour" thing.
Every Massachusetts tax increase has meant just a small sacrifice,
adding up to a total tax burden that is fourth highest in the nation
for each of us who just wants to enjoy our little treats without
having our intelligence insulted.
The
governor tells us that "grown-ups know that you can't have something
for nothing."
No,
really? I can't? Wow, until the governor just enlightened me, I
really believed that I could! How embarrassing to discover that I've
not been a grown-up and that the money I've been paying in gas
taxes, auto sales taxes, registration fees and the uniquely
Massachusetts auto excise were "nothing."
Another
thing that annoys the cooperation out of me is the politicians'
insistence that if we don't want to pay higher taxes, we must come
up with our own solution to the crisis of the moment.
Here is
my perhaps not-grown-up response: I didn't cause this crisis. In
fact, I recall warning that the federal government would not be
paying 90 percent of the Big Dig price, that said price would be at
least three times more than we were told and that the money would
come from other transportation projects.
I've
complained for years about transportation union benefits. I worked
with a ballot campaign to repeal the state prevailing-wage law that
drives up all construction costs.
And
having been ignored, I'm now told I have to come up with a solution
to the inevitable crisis?
Tell you
what, Governor, if you solve it without involving me in any way,
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
As if
the arrogance of state government wasn't enough, this past week, we
had the new U.S. attorney general calling us Americans "cowards" for
not dealing with the issue of race. Eric Holder, who is black and is
working with a black president who was elected by cowardly
Americans, deplores the fact that we "simply do not talk enough with
each other about race."
Guilty,
Mr. AG. I never talk about race. For most of my life I thought it
was irrelevant, that all men are created equal. Then I got involved
in politics, where activists who want tax cuts are called racist for
some reason; as if there were no members of racial minorities who
could use a tax break.
So I
tuned out and continue to ignore the subject of race, unless
something really interestingly silly is brought to my attention —
like the New York Post cartoon using a recent chimpanzee attack to
make fun of the federal government. The police had to shoot the
crazed critter, so the cartoon showed them standing over its dead
body, wondering who would draft the next "stimulus plan."
Since
the bill really does look like something drafted by monkeys with
typewriters, I thought the cartoon was pretty funny, and when I
heard it was controversial, immediately thought only of PETA going
ape over the cartoonist making light of the shooting.
It never
crossed my mind to think that the deceased chimp looked like the
president of the United States, as some hysterical liberals are
claiming.
True,
all human beings share almost 99 percent of their genetic makeup
with chimpanzees, but why pick on the president? What, you say it's
because he's black? Does the gorgeous Blair Underwood look like a
chimp? How about Halle Berry? I don't think so.
I am
bored with black and have just spent February ignoring Black History
Month. Americans should study American melting-pot history and get
on with it.
But
speaking of the president: This week, Barack Obama, after increasing
the national debt by $2 trillion his first month in office, became a
deficit hawk with these words: "I'm pledging to cut the deficit we
inherited by half."
Get it?
He's promising to cut the one-year deficit he inherited in half —
while still passing his own trillion-dollar deficits onto future
generations. Cute.
I'm
crabby when dealing with supercilious politicians of any color. This
is why I need my daily cup of coffee, Governor.