and the
Citizens Economic Research Foundation


Barbara's Column
November 2002 #1

Mitt's sleepy basset hound tells the story

by Barbara Anderson

The Lowell Sun
Sunday, November 3, 2002

Is it Tuesday yet?

I'm voting for Mitt Romney ‘cause I like the basset hound in the ad.

My partner Chip Ford, who had a labrador retriever, wondered how they got the dog to lie still for the shoot. I explained that basset hounds aren't labs; they don't run around looking for something to retrieve. They take life easy.

That's why I'm voting for Mitt Romney. The dog is in his ad is going to be my role model, as soon as this election is over.

What! You think that's a dumb reason to vote for someone?

It makes as much sense as "Tim for Treasurer."

In four years, someone named Gary will run for Governor, so he can win on the slogan, "Gary for Governor". And there will be Susan for Secretary of State, and Andy-George for Attorney General. See, kids: voting is easy! Can you say A is for Aaron the Alligator and Auditor?

Instead of spending all that time making the Registry user-friendly, Dan Grabauskas should have been in court changing his name to Tom. Tom for Treasurer.

Speaking of names, I read that Gabrieli (for Lt. Governor) is Hungarian, not Italian.

Chip was happy to hear this, as he. is having a problem with some Italians after he said that putting Shannon O'Brien, Robert Travaglini and Tom Finneran in charge of the state would be like handing Tony Soprano the keys to the State House.

I objected to this on the grounds that Tony is too sympathetic a character to make the analogy work. Apparently others objected on the grounds that this was some kind of anti-Italian slur. I don't get it.

In the first place, two of the three are of Irish descent, like Chip. In the second place, do some people think that all Italians are mobsters? If one mentions Andrea Bocelli, do these same people think all Italians can sing?

Chip and I are great "Soprano" fans. The thing that makes it work is that Tony has a conscience that is slowly driving him mad. You think these politicians lose any sleep, or see a therapist, because they cut services for the handicapped while funding jobs for their friends and raising taxes on working people?

Speaking of television, the best new show this year is "Firefly," on Friday night. A group of rebels drive their salvaged spaceship around the known universe playing Robin Hood -- who by the way was the leader of the first taxpayer group, not a socialist. If I can't be a basset hound, I want to be a space rebel, and get off this planet for awhile.

At least get me out of Marblehead, where there's a Community Preservation Act property tax increase on the ballot. Proponents' campaign signs say "Vote Yes on 4 – Keep Marblehead Special." Special; precious; pretentious. I tell people that I live "near the Salem line."

Mine was a truly special town once, as were many of our communities, leaders of the Revolutionary War, denizens of freedom-fighters. Now we live in wards of the state and let government at all levels push us around, take our money, and waste it in record amounts. Where did all the rebels go?

If we can't take the next spaceship out, we will have to make the place we once landed as livable as possible. I have better reasons than the basset hound to choose Mitt Romney: he brings some balance to the mostly one-party Beacon Hill, he isn't Shannon O'Brien, and he has a chance to win. Maybe he really won't raise taxes, if we throw out a few of the legislators who did and elect challengers who would sustain his veto, and if we send an anti-tax hike message with a "Yes" vote on Question 1.

It's almost Tuesday, and time to vote.

Barbara Anderson is executive director of Citizens for Limited Taxation. Her syndicated columns appear weekly in the Salem News and the Lowell Sun; bi-weekly in the Tinytown Gazette; and occasionally in other newspapers.

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